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The Lucky Few: Embracing Down Syndrome, Adoption, and Raising a Beautiful Village

The Lucky Few: Embracing Down Syndrome, Adoption, and Raising a Beautiful Village
Jennifer Banner

We first learned of Jennifer’s daughter Sofia Sanchez through inspiring content of her on Instagram before we ever connected with Jennifer herself. Meeting Jennifer, we were even more inspired. As a mother of four, she is raising two children who have Down syndrome–one biological and one adopted, and we wanted to know so much more about her experience as a mother and an advocate. 

The Sanchez family’s story is a beautiful one, full of optimism and strength, community and love. Just the kind of story we all need right now.

Sofia and Joaquin

Bringing Home Sofia:

Nell: Your third son Joaquin was born with Down Syndrome. Your experience raising him led you to adopt Sofia from Ukraine. Can you tell us more about this decision? 

Jennifer: Our third biological son Joaquin was born with Down syndrome which was a surprise for us...little did we know how lucky we were! When we found out his diagnosis we wanted to learn everything we could about it and in that discovery we learned that there are SO many children born with DS in other countries that are brought to orphanages for various reasons but the main reason is that the moms (and dads) lack support in their country to raise their child and feel ill equipped so they bring them to the orphanage in hopes that they can get what they need there. Sadly there are TOO many orphans with DS and other disabilities. That broke our hearts. I wanted to raise awareness about this and help these children find their forever families and before I knew it we were one of those families! We decided that not only could we offer an orphan a family and a home but we would be giving Joaquin the gift of a sibling who was like him. They would have each other forever. Joaquin and Sofia are just one year apart and we have raised them as “Irish twins” ever since. They are the best of friends and we cannot imagine our lives any other way!

N: What have been the most surprising joys and challenges in raising children with Down Syndrome? 

J: It’s honestly been such a JOY to raise Joaquin and Sofia together. They are truly so special to us and so loved by not only our family but our extended family, friends and community! Of course there are challenges and lots of driving to and from all the activities, sports, after school programs, therapies etc...raising 4 kids is hard of course but thankfully I have so much help from my husband and my parents and my closest friends. It honestly takes a village and I love how having Sofia and Joaquin has extended our village in the most amazing ways. Some of my closest friends are fellow mother with a child with a disability...I consider them sisters...and that is probably the most unexpected joy...the connections we have made.

N: What advice would you give to parents who might be fearful or hesitant about raising a child with Down Syndrome? 

J: My advice is always to lean into the experience...the road less traveled...enjoy the slower pace of milestones and celebrate big when they come, Love on your baby without worrying too much about the future...one day at a time. Lean into others who are also on the journey, they will become your biggest cheerleaders and will help you BEYOND measure. If you have a newborn baby...LOVE on that baby….do all the things you would do with any baby...and fall in love with your new baby! It’s a love you cannot explain unless you live it...we consider ourselves “the lucky few”.

Sofia and Joaquin

Breaking Misconceptions and Sharing the Beauty:

N: What have you learned from raising Joaquin and Sofia? 

J: I have learned so much. I have learned to let go of PERFECTION. To find beauty in the imperfect. I have learned that life is precious and things can change at any moment so I now appreciate things so much more. I’ve learned to slow down and discover what really matters. My eyes are opened to the world of disability and that has led me to become a fierce advocate for fighting for the rights of those with disabilites...to have access to quality education, to have access to the best medical care, to have access to everything in the community that any other child is offered. You would be surprised to know that raising a child with a disability isn't  the hard part...it’s dealing with the all the build in “no’s” you are faced with, the systems in place that make things harder, the misconceptions that we are constantly trying to break to make sure people see our children they way we see them...worthy of having a beautiful life.

N: There are so many misconceptions about Down Syndrome. What’s one thing you wish more people understood about children (and adults) with Down Syndrome? 

J: People with Down syndrome have life figured out...my kids don’t worry about the past, aren’t constantly thinking of the future, they live fully in the MOMENT and it’s such a gift of theirs to be able to be fully present and honest all the time. I learn so much for watching the way my kids face every day with hope and joy and excitement. They have to work so much harder to do the things that we all take for granted and they never complain...they are the most resilient, strong and inspiring humans...oh and if you haven’t been hugged by someone with Down syndrome, you haven’t felt a REAL hug. Best hugs on the planet.

Sofia talking

Advocacy Work and Leadership:

N: Sofia is an incredibly charismatic and inspiring leader. What are some of your proudest moments in Sofia’s life? 

J: I could go on and on about how proud I am of Sofia. It’s truly an honor to be her mother and to watch her take on the world and change hearts and minds everywhere she goes. She is truly SO kind and caring and joyful...she has a magnetic energy and it’s just a blast being her co pilot.

N: What role do you play in supporting her advocacy work, and what does it mean for your family? 

J: We are definitely a team, all of us in the Sanchez Six. We are careful to give all four kids the love and attention they need even when Sofia’s adventures seem to take up a lot of time. We try and include everyone in on the adventures and opportunities. 

Because of Sofia’s advocacy we have been able to travel to some amazing places and be a part of so many special things. We all have so much fun with it, and it is a balancing act for sure, but we make it happen! I’m the mom’ager for sure and we make a great team. 

Our lives changed when we had Joaquin and then Sofia and I found a new purpose and passion in advocacy. It drives me every day as I want the best for people with disabilities…they opened my eyes to a whole new world.

N: How has Sofia inspired you to become an advocate for children with Down Syndrome, and what are your biggest goals in this space? 

J: It drives me every day. I want to break down barriers and stereotypes. I want to fight for equal rights for people with disabilities. I want to ensure people with disabilities are seen as worthy humans and as a valuable part of our world. I want more kindness. To know someone with DS is to love them.

Jennifer & her Kibou

Fun, Family, and Kibou:

N: As a mom of 4, with all the adventures and activities, how do you manage to stay organized and balanced? (Is there a secret to your energy?) 

J: Oh boy, that’s my biggest challenge…organization!!! The paperwork is overwhelming when you have kids. Kids with disabilities takes it to a whole new level. I also have struggled to find balance and time for myself. But I get better and better at it every year, and as the kids have gotten older I have found more time for myself. Still, I would say this is my biggest area of weakness and need for improvement. 

When it comes to finding the energy? I’m not sure where it comes from, but I think it’s just the desire to create a world that welcomes my children and sees them as unique and valuable just the way they are. It gets hard sometimes fighting for their rights…and it feels like a constant fight, but then I look at them and see how they tackle each and every day with smiles on their faces and it keeps me going.

N: We know you're always on the go! How does wearing your Kibou fit into your daily routine, and what do you love most about it?

J: We LOVE our Kibous...I love the simplicity and colors…I have the blue and brown one and I love them. I love the built-in wallet feature and the pouch is the perfect size. I can fit a lot in mine but I usually keep in simple: my keys, a lipstick, a hair tie, my drivers license and debit card. And my sunglasses!!! Easy peasy and so cute and stylish! Comfortable too!

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